Monday, January 30, 2012

I do believe.

The Bible Study group I'm in has been studying Revelation.  The main focus of Revelation seems to be worship, even in the worst of times, worship Him.  My 'worst' time right now, the loss of my friend, does make it difficult to worship.  However, I had an 'ah ha' moment because of it.
Because my friend lived alone and died unexpectedly, no one is sure exactly when she died.  That fact troubled and hurt me greatly when I first heard the news.  Why hadn't I stopped by last week?  And more than anything else, the thought of her being alone at that particular moment caused me great pain.
I took this photo last fall because it was so breathtaking.
Today, it seemed to fit this post, because it is so breathtaking.

After crying on my husband's shoulder for a time on the night I found out, I went to the chapel at our church.  As I knelt at the rail, I felt a sense of calm, a sad and tearful calm, but a calm none the less.  Elsiemay was not alone! Jesus was with her, at her side as she crossed from this life into the next.  That realization strengthened my faith, removed the little bits of doubt that niggle your mind and heart in times of sorrow.  I was comforted by this spiritual assurance.  I cannot explain why, perhaps some would say it's what I wanted and needed to know, but I choose to believe, because I'm always asking Him something, whether it be in prayer or in conversation, that at a profound moment, He chose to give me an answer. An answer, I chose to believe.

5 comments:

  1. Coralee, my heart is breaking for you. I'm sorry you had to lose a friend. I'm glad the thought of Jesus has comforted you.

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    1. Thank you Tami. The memorial service for Elsiemay yesterday was very moving. It really brought comfort knowing how many people loved her and realized what a special person the Lord brought into our lives.

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  2. Elsiemay Draper was my nanny in Youngsville, PA until I was 6 years old and my family moved out of state. I'm 20 now - and I was devastated that I couldn't make to the funeral alongside my Mother today. I found your blog while searching for a full obituary. I last saw May at my sister's wedding in August - and she was still sharing memories of taking me to the park and watching the trains go by outside. She joked with me and my girlfriend that she couldn't wait to come to our wedding in a few years. I really found comfort in this blog and I thank you for that. I miss her a lot and wish you comfort.

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    1. How nice to meet someone else who loved her! The service yesterday was very moving, she touched everyone and remembered everyone she touched. There was an open time for sharing and many people spoke, including myself.
      I'm sorry for your loss as well and glad that something I wrote brought you comfort. She'll always be with us and we can talk to her anytime.
      I would be glad to send you a copy of the obituary if you provide me either your email or snail mail address.

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  3. Hi Coralee -
    I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend. It certainly puts my husband's accident into perspective. The comment you left for me was so comforting and kind. It's obvious that you were, and continue to be, an amazing friend to Ms. Draper. I don't think that your physical presence was necessary for her to be comforted by your love and friendship.
    Thank you so much for your very thoughtful comments - you write beautifully. Take care of yourself- Erin

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