Aaaah

Yesterday I was a bum, nearly all day, a bum.  I can't tell you the last time I did not have to go somewhere or do something the minute I got out of bed.  Yesterday, though unplanned, I slept in.  I went back to sleep after Marty left for work and didn't get up until 7:30A, which is late for me. 

While I was reading the newspaper, Marty called from work asking me to record the Penguins game.  As I searched through the channels to find the appropriate one for the recording device, I came across a movie named, "Three Wishes" with Patrick Swayze and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.  I am a Patrick Swayze fan, so after the all important recording duties were completed, I flipped back to that channel and watched the remainder of the movie.

A simple movie, a bit of a tearjerker (not much of a stretch for me, I cry during Hallmark commercials) with a lesson to be learned.  I was surprised by the lesson imparted--- Jack made a wish for Tommy, "you always wanted what you couldn't have, so I wished you'd be happy with what you were given".   Isn't that a truism!  It's me on many days; wish I had more time, wish I had more friends, wish I was smarter or thinner or whatever.  I have so many blessings I can't  begin to write them all down or even list them in my head.  I have a lot, but often want more.  Happiness isn't something we are given, it is something we can learn and cultivate and something that doesn't cost us a dime.  

But I digress, when the movie was over, around 10:30, I felt guilty; I just wasted 2 hours.  At first I was mad at myself for even turning the TV on; it was Marty's fault though, wasn't it?  I could have loaded the dishwasher, put some laundry in, got the vacuum cleaner out and picked up the loose stuff on the floors,  getting ready to clean.

Just then Vivianne hopped up on my lap, stretching and nuzzling, waking up after her morning nap.  She sure wasn't feeling guilty for napping already on Saturday morning.  You know, there isn't anything wrong with me sitting down and watching a movie.  There isn't anything wrong with me sitting down and watching a movie.  There isn't anything wrong with me sitting down and watching a movie or reading or knitting or just plain sitting down!  There isn't anything wrong with that.  I drive myself and try to squeeze in one more thing, "I can do that", which is why I"m often late, "Just a minute, I'm almost done", which is why I don't sleep enough, "Wow, it's 2AM already" which is probably the real reason I'm such a poor manager of time, I'm always squeezing in one more thing.

I need to think on this personal revelation. Did wasting 2 hours suddenly turn on the light bulb that will change my life; could it really be that simple?  I think it can and I'm going to find out.