Saturday, December 17, 2011

A different point of view

Normally, I'm cooking Marty something to eat right about now but tonight he called to say they are staying late so they don't have to work tomorrow.  I'm sorry he's staying late but glad he doesn't have to work tomorrow.  I"m not going to work either.  I about put myself in a coma last weekend trying to meet a deadline....I did by the way...not going to do that this weekend.  My poor house has been neglected for several weeks now, vacation, community projects and work all seem to come before housework--isn't that a surprise?!!
Marty's cousin and his wife stopped by for a quick visit as I was walking out the door going to work this morning. I stayed to chat a couple minutes, I didn't want to be rude, we rarely get company.  She mentioned the last time she was at our house, the basement was not finished.  The basement has been finished for nearly 3 years; isn't that sad, they live 15 minutes away from us.
I remember as a little girl all the family gatherings at my Grandma's house, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends, all hanging out, eating and talking. I grew to love porch swings at that time in my life.  Grandma let me set with her and whomever was visiting with her; one of my favorite memories.  I knew most of my relatives by name at that time even though I was only 6 or 7.  But today, 50 years later, I would pass them on the street and not recognize any of them.
What happened to those times of family, those times of sharing meals, sharing news, sharing chores before heading home?  What happened to cause that bond to stretch so far that 15 minutes is too far away to drop by for a visit?
We're a big family, most of us have lived away from home for years at a time so perhaps that plays a part.  We become accustomed to doing things without family, being independent and self surviving. I am that person.  I can always do what needs to be done one way or another.  Rarely do I ask family to help me.  I'm the oldest, the wisest :), I'm the helper, the listener, the provider, the person who always rushes to help others, including family, but I don't call them in return.
My pastor said that's doing a disservice to myself and my family, both blood family and church family.  He said I am depriving those I care about an opportunity to be what God created them be, family, and do, have relationships.  I've thought about that comment a lot since I heard it that Sunday morning.  I never really looked at family in that way.
I read another little note of wisdom recently--- paraphrasing --- if you don't feel love, chances are pretty good you're not giving love. You may think you are but really examine it, what are your motivations, what's in your heart?  Is that me?  Do I do the helping and fixing because I believe that's what I'm supposed to do or is it because it's what I want to do?
No better time than now to make changes, right?  While I'm sewing, crafting and wrapping this weekend I'll be examining ME.

1 comment:

  1. Wow! My life seems to be similar to yours. I hardly contact (nor am contacted) by family. And you are right, it IS sad! There is always the excuse of being doing this, doing that, we are busy… then the time slips by… and relationships have fallen away… and you wonder why your are alone… Your post came at a good time. Thank you!


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