We seem to be running into a snag with the guest list for the wedding. My daughter and her fiance want a small intimate wedding with only 75 guests of close family members and friends. The list is up to 82 but they are fine with that knowing not everyone will be coming.
This is their wedding and that is what they want, we are fine with that. The dilemma lies with the people not being invited. The groom will be having one to eight people from his side there for this special event. Depends on how many can get visas to come over. You may recall that his family lives in Europe. That is not the problem. Mainly, the problem lies with my family and a little on my husband's side. First thing my daughter asked me if it was OK if she doesn't invite her uncle (my brother) and his family to the wedding. They never call her or return her phone calls. She hasn't seen them in over seven years and they only live eight miles away. My other brother in Indiana will not be coming. We haven't talk to him in over 12 years and the last time we saw him was at my step-mother's funeral. I don't even want to tell you the scene he created with the family there. Now my youngest brother wants me to invite both of them to the wedding. He thinks it would start to mend fences and it could be a family reunion. I told him it was not a family reunion but his niece's wedding and if she doesn't want to invite them that is her choice. He keeps bringing up her sister's wedding and how big it was and everyone was invited. I also reminded him, this is a small wedding and only the people they are close to will be there. When I explained the situation to my older brother (who is invited along with his wife) he thought about it and his answer was, "I don't blame her."
On my husband's side, we explained the situation to his niece and that some of her sibling's children will not be invited to the wedding. She agreed to help convey this to her brother and sisters. I know one of them will be upset and will voice it. As I told both my husband's niece and my brother, if anyone starts to complain and gives them a hard time then give them my phone number and I will personally talk to them. So far the phone hasn't rung. Of course I have five more months to go.
The guest list is always an issue, even when there aren't "family" issues! I'm behind what your daughter feels...it is her wedding and her memories to create. Perhaps a gathering to celebrate the nuptials for the entire family, including those estranged after they return from their honeymoon, a mending of fences/family reunion roled into one. Just a suggestion...I"m sure there are other ideas.
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