Sadness

You can't put your finger on it.  You know it's there at the back of your day.  You try to ignore it.  You put on that fake smile.  You take a deep breath, wipe the tears and keep working.  You know it will get better...won't it?  You just can't find that magic wand.  You pray.  You remember. You share.

It hurts!

Our beloved Parker has left the loving arms of his parents and passed into a better, more peaceful life. 

During the past couple of weeks his physical condition has dramatically declined.   He was unable to walk with confidence or get up and down with ease.  His eating habits deteriorated and when he did feel like eating, he was not able to keep it down from more than a few hours.  He stopped greeting us at the door and the sparkle of life was no longer evident in his eyes.

After his cancer diagnosis, Marty and I promised Parker and ourselves that we would make that most difficult of decisions when his quality of life was no longer what he was accustomed to living.  We made that decision today and with the help of our very caring veterinarian, we cradled him in our arms as he left his earthly body.  

We are so thankful that we were fortunate enough to share nearly 12 years with our 'buddy' Parker.  Our home will seem empty for a time but our hearts and minds are filled with love and wonderful memories of the life we shared together.  

We were blessed the day Parker came into our lives and we were blessed today by the trust he placed in us to love and care for him.

Vacation was over too soon.

Our final destination was Belfast, Maine.  We stayed at the Belfast Harbor Inn and absolutely loved the place and the people.  We highly recommend it.  Nothing real fancy, $140 a night included nice continental breakfast, heated outdoor pool, small decks/balcony on each room with chairs and a wonderful housekeeping staff.  The only complaint we had was the size of the vanity area.  Because we stayed several days, we had dishes,  a coffee maker we brought for our room plus toiletries for each of us.  The vanity had room for a couple tooth brushes and toothpaste, a water glass and a couple hair brushes.  Marty said, "Next time we need to bring a small collapsing table for all our extra stuff".  We really enjoyed the facility.  We plan to stay there again, soon and we will  request the same room, 31, again.  

Our room, bottom LH corner, end of row.  You had entry from an inside hallway and from the outside deck door, which was perfect for Parker and his needs.  The vet gave us the OK to take him but we took medical records with us just in case.  He did very well except for the last 2 days.  We were glad  he got to go with us because it will most likely be the last trip we'll get to enjoy together, just the 3 of us.

The view from our little deck and  that's our truck in the foreground.  It was a nice walk down to the water's edge.  The beach wasn't made for swimming but it was nice for walking and picking up whatever caught your eye.  We both brought bathing suits but never used them.  We discussed getting up in the morning to swim several times.  We enjoyed sitting on the deck together with our coffee and juice, every morning, watching the harbor activity, so much, that we just never made it to the pool.  Plus there was many other things to do during the day and by the time we got back to our room, we were ready to just kick back. enjoy the deck and the evening sky.  We did have to buy a couple citronella candles because the mosquitoes chased us inside the first night we were there!

Marty & Parker.  This is a good picture of them and one that we'll have framed after Parker is gone.  We laughed at these pictures-- Marty is in shorts and flip flops-- I have on a shirt, a shawl, longer pants and water shoes.  I get 'chilly' easy!

Parker has never been to the ocean with us on other trips so the sights and smells were totally new for him.  He was very interested in all the shells, seaweed, etc. we found on the beach.  I LOVE the smell of the ocean.  It was a little windy that day but we spent about 2 hours out there checking things out.

Blogging

As you can see, I did not post during our vacation but I will be putting up some posts now that we're home.  My family (sisters) beats up on me a lot because I don't 'do' Facebook so I promised I would while we were gone.  Unfortunately, because I don't 'do' Facebook on a regular basis, it took me a lot of time to figure out how to post pictures, create an album to update and write the posts.  Most often I was doing this at the end of the day, 11pm or after, so when I finally finished with FB, I didn't 'do' my blog.
Over the next several days you'll see snippets of our trip to Maine and whatever else I throw in.

Almost ready!

In about 1 hour, my family and I will be headed down the driveway on a long overdue vacation.  We have a purpose in our destination, Belfast, ME, but being away together will be the biggest benefit.  I'm happy, even though a bit frazzled trying to get ready!
Hopefully this is the start of my blog's rebirth.  I'd like that.

Good Endorphins

I just walked for 15 minutes, a measly 1/2 mile.  But. I. Walked!  Yeah for me.  I feel good. I have walked at least 10 minutes 5 days in a row.  It feels good.  For a very long time I haven't been able to FORCE myself to walk or do anything that related to better health.  For reasons unknown to me, I just started walking last week while on vacation.  I shall not question, I shall just continue.

The same but different

I've not had the gift of children but I have sisters, brothers, nieces & nephews and the feelings I've experienced over the years are very similar to what you describe but from a slightly different chair. 
There are days that my heart breaks and days when it swells; but there are never days that it's not filled with love.


I posted the above comment earlier this morning on a blog that I follow.  It just spilled out of me after reading the post that spoke about "golden times/memories".  A mother speaking about her children, wishing to, maybe, do some things over, to have savored others more and to savor where she is now in her 'empty nest'.  Those were golden times to her but the times yet to come for her and for me will be golden too, just in a different way.

Time always seems to drive me, hurrying me to the next task.  I took time to read my Joyce Meyer daily devotion today and she talked about being childlike.  Childlike in our approach to each day.  Enjoy it, no matter what it brings because there will never be another day just like it.  Children choose to make fun during the day.  We adults are older, wiser and supposedly more intelligent but can't seem to find the fun and enjoyment in the gift of another day.   

This morning, Marty made me laugh until my sides hurt, I couldn't love him anymore than I did at that moment.  He is the golden part of my life and I'm looking forward to each future day with him.